Your Extraversion Score: A Simple Test to Understand Yourself
Extravert, introvert, or somewhere in between? Here’s how to play to your strengths.
Working on Charactergram has given me a useful opportunity to revisit my own personality style—and be reminded that I lean toward the introverted end of the extraversion scale.
But have you ever noticed how extraversion gets held up as the ideal?
It’s as if being outgoing, talkative, and the center of attention is the only way to get ahead—as though introverts like me, or those in-between, are somehow short-changed.
We’ve all heard the script: the extraverted salesperson seals the deal, the sociable networker rises fast, the gregarious one has life sorted.
That’s a lopsided view, though—and it’s not the full story.
Where you land on the extraversion scale—high, low, or somewhere in the middle—doesn’t define your value or your path.
It’s just part of the picture.
Where Does the Bias Come From?
I wondered if there was solid evidence behind this slant—like a study claiming “87% of people think extraversion is essential for success.”
(I made that up, but it feels plausible, doesn’t it?)
The reality is less tidy.
There’s no exact figure, but research hints at the bias.
One study from the Association for Psychological Science suggests that extraverts dominate our social circles, making them seem more “normal” or capable.
Another found that over half of surveyed mothers valued extraversion in their kids over intelligence or diligence—cultural clues, perhaps.
But a precise percentage linking extraversion to success? That’s elusive.
Studies focus more on what traits achieve, not what people believe about them.
Still, the point stands: extraversion isn’t the magic bullet it’s made out to be.
Your Strengths Shine—Wherever You Sit
So where do you fit?
Maybe you already know—do crowds lift you up, or does quiet restore you?
If you’re unsure, here’s a quick and simple way to check.
Wherever you land, there’s real value—but also a chance to stretch a little beyond it now and then.
Have a look at your section below—but don’t stop there. Check out the others too. It might help you understand a friend, a family member, or your partner a little better.
How Extraverted Are You? (Two Quick Questions)
I think of myself as someone who...
a) Is Reserved
Most of the Time [1]
Some of the Time [2]
Hardly Ever [3]
b) Is Outgoing, Sociable
Most of the Time [3]
Some of the Time [2]
Hardly Ever [1]
Your Type (Add up your scores):
2–3 = You are Quiet (Q)
4–5 = You are Friendly (F)
6 = You are Gregarious (G)
Your Extraversion Type
Gregarious
Your Strength: Just like Oprah Winfrey, you’ve got a gift for connection. You light up a room, draw people in, and turn energy into action—whether it’s rallying a group or lifting someone’s spirits.
Make the Most of It: Host a casual gathering—nothing fancy, just friends or colleagues. Your natural spark makes it memorable.
Step Out a Little: Take a 15-minute walk alone, no distractions. Let the quiet sink in—it’s a chance to recharge and hear your own thoughts.
Friendly
Your Strength: You’re a bit like Tom Hanks—the steady middle ground. Warm and approachable, but just as happy in your own company. You fit in without forcing it.
Make the Most of It: Be the listener in your next group chat—ask a great question, let others shine. Your balance keeps things flowing.
Step Out a Little: Strike up a brief conversation with a stranger—maybe in a shop queue. It’s low pressure but nudges your sociable side forward.
Quiet
Your Strength: You bring depth and calm—rather like Keanu Reeves. You notice what others miss, and your focus cuts through the noise—perfect for solving problems or reflecting deeply.
Make the Most of It: Carve out an hour to tackle something solo—a project, a book, a plan. Your clarity thrives in that space.
Step Out a Little: Join a small gathering for an hour—just a few people. Stay low-key, soak it in, and leave when you’re ready.
There’s No Best Type—Just Your Best Fit
There’s no hierarchy here.
Gregarious types ignite things.
Friendly ones bridge them.
Quiet ones ground them.
It’s all good—and all yours.
Lean into what you’ve got, and dip a toe elsewhere when the mood strikes.
That’s plenty.
Another great post, Jon! It is always great to realize how slightly different we all are. And the trick to ask questions to break the ice at parties is such a great one. Most people love to talk about themselves and it is a good way for an introvert to get the conversation going.